Ganito ka rin ba mag-ENGLISH?

(To whoever gets to understand this letter, CONGRATULATIONS!)

The following is a letter found at a certain bar in Manila and has been preserved in its original, unedited form. Enjoy reading and you may try direct translation in Tagalog. Pls. read with feelings...

October 1996
To Marije,
I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you why? What reason can you think about but you're very fat body. I thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner and later I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you're habit of making pakialam all his walks (lakad) and always calling to their house what he go home or this or that.
And then he say he get ashame to me either in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you're very very, very fat body. But you hate it. Thought you're the most preetiest girls he knows about. What do you think you are "Beautiful Girl" of Jose Marie Chan?
Even you are beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else difference name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names either in the front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don't have any other choice but to call you other different name to. Like you are a PIG, FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you're body that is to a BUDING.
You can't not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier that you when you look to us in the mirror. I'm repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl.
Love,
The sexiest Girl of D.M.
P.S.
You say that I'm the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed. Me or you? And the final is me. There you go.



hahaha there you go... putek minigraine akooooooo!!!