Hello. I hope that you are feeling fine by the time that you are reading my letter. We've been through a terrible emotional roller coaster for the past two days and I really do not want to put you through another one. Sigh. Saan ba ako magsisimula? Of course una sa lahat gusto kong humingi ng paumanhin sa iyo. Alam ko na ang sasabihin mo. Sa pagsasabi ko sa iyo ng "i'm sorry" nagmumukha ka lang kawawa. F♥ hindi ganoon. Malaki ang naging kasalanan ko sa iyo. You didn't deserve to be cheated on. Huwag mo sanang iisipin na ikaw ang may pagkukulang. Nitong nagdaang mga taon na magkasama tayo totoong masaya ako. Oo, may mga oras na nag-aaway tayo kahit tungkol lang sa mga napakasimpleng bagay pero sino nga ba ang hindi? We've been through our ups and downs pero hindi dahilan iyon para magtaksil ako sa iyo, ang sirain ko ang isang magandang bagay na napakahalaga sa atin. I feel awful f♥. Ako ang may kasalanan dito sa nangyari, hindi ikaw. Ganoon na lang ang naging pagdaramdam ko last Tuesday nung hinarap mo ako dahil all those times na nagtataksil ako sa iyo, hindi ko man lang naisip ang sakit na maari nitong idulot sa pinakamamahal ko, sa taong pinahahalagahan ko ng higit sa lahat. Sobrang sama ng loob ko sa sarili ko because I do not want bad things to happen to you all this time. Gusto ko na lagi kang masaya at maingatan kita sa mga bagay na maaaring makasakit sa iyo. Ganoon ang nasa isipan ko while I am cheating on you. I've been very selfish all this time. I have felt that our relatonship and my love for you has grown deeper but I've also become attached and intimate with someone else. Masama ang loob ko sa sarili ko because I feel so sincere whenever I tell you that I love you and yet cheat on you without any guilt all this time. I have taken you for granted. Masaya ako everytime na magkasama tayo, kahit dito sa opisina. I always tell you that I love you. Hanggang ngayon ay nararamdaman kong mahal kita pero hindi pagmamahal ang naibunyag sa iyo nitong Martes. Tama ka sa sinabi mo kahapon. I've made a big disappointment for our friends who knew us, for your family at lalung-lalo na sa iyo. Sobrang sumama ng loob ko sa sarili ko noong umiyak ka dito sa QA. It's only then when I've felt that I've done something wrong. I have failed you and I have broken your trust. I am already far from being perfect and still, I managed to commit the greatest violation in a relationship. I cheated. I have been unfaithful. Bukod pa don ay nakita ko pa ang marami kong naging mga pagkukulang sa iyo nuong nag-usap na tayo. I realized that I have not been giving my best in our relationship and all of my heart all this time. You are right. How could I stomach telling you that I love you while I go out and see other people? This is my fault not yours. Huwag mo sanang sasabihin na nagkaroon ka ng pagkukulang, na may mali sa iyo. Wala. Something bad came over me last Monday and all of the nasty things that I've told you are untrue. You drive me really crazy at times but those events are insignificant. I have my own faults. Tama ka rin nang sinabi mong dapat ay mahiya ako sa mga magulang mo. I've been welcomed in your family. They have raised such a perfect daughter and I didn't treat her fairly. You are my best friend and yet my actions are those of your worst enemy. Nalulungkot ako sa mga nagawa ko sayo. Natatakot dahil hindi ko man lang naisip ang relasyon natin at mga maaaring mangyari dahil sa mga pinasok kong sitwasyon. I never intended to tell you of this affair until I was found out. Talagang naging makasarili ako. This is not the kind of love that you truly deserve. I am very sorry f♥. I am now in a situation na nakikita kong hindi na ako nagpapahalaga sa pagsasama natin. Nakatakda na rin siguro talagang may makakita sa akin at may magpaalam sa iyo para mahinto na ang ginagawa ko. Ayoko nang makitang iiyak ka. I am not worth a single drop of your tears dahilan na rin ng mga nagawa ko. Maybe we're in the point of our lives when we can see if we're really right for each other. In the situation that I am in, with the things that I did, I can definitely say that Iam not the right one for you. Make no mistake, I have deep feelings for you, malalim ang pinagsamahan natin. Ganoon na lang ang respeto ko sa iyo kaya iniisip ko na lumayo para iayos ang sarili ko. Maling-mali kasi ako sa nagawa ko sa iyo. Hindi lang naman ako sa iyo nagkasala. Nagkamali rin ako sa ibang tao. Dahil ako rin ang may sala, masamang pakinggan na manggaling sa akin pero mahirap itong gawin. Nalulungkot akong isipin na hindi na tayo katulad ng dati, na wala na yung napakahalaga at napakaespesyal na bagay sa pagitan nating dalawa. Hindi ko pa nga maalis na tawagin kang "baby" kahapon at sumama talaga ang loob ko nang binura mo ang mga litrato natin. Mahirap pero kailangan lang siguro natin talagang dumaan sa ganito in order for ourselves to grow as better persons. I already feel so guilty for taking you for granted. Nararamdaman kong hindi na ako yung taong karapat-dapat para sa iyo. You deserve better than this. Hindi kita iniiwan para sumama ako sa iba. Huwag mong isipin na di kita pinaglalaban. Huwag ka sanang mag-isip ng ganon. Sarili ko na ang kalaban dito. Please understand. Naguguluhan di ako sa sarili ko ngayon. I need this separation so that I can find myself. Ako kasi ang dapat mag ayos. Nasa akin kasi ang problema. I hate to do this to you pero I'd hate myself much more if I won't be able to love you and give you everything 100% in the future. Thank you so much for all the laughter, joy and love that we have shared throughout the past four years. Do not think of this as a goodbye. I'll be here for you as always. Think of it as a loving friendship on a different level. I'll support you and wish you good luck in all of your endeavors. You are very dear to me f♥. I wish you all of the happiness in this world and I hope that we could keep this very special friendship as we both grow older. Tatanda ka rin. Hindi lang si "Palot!"
Love,
JKG
FYI... di pa dito natatapos... naging kami pa ulit e... nagkaayos etc. kaso andami pa ulit mga nangyari hanggang sa tapos na talaga - THE END. Currently, ok na naman kami... civil lang... magkaibigan? medyo weird pero ganun e... di naman ako marunong magtanim ng galit sa isang tao... kung may nagawa ka man sa akin... hindi naman ako yung tipong naganti at nananakit... bahala na sayo si God... choice mo yun e... marunong akong magpatawad...
Unforgettable lines... quotable quotes to... pwedeng pang forward sa text haha... in-abstract ko na para di na kyo mahirapan haha... wag kang makulit!!! ☺
* i have felt that our relationship and my love for you has grown deeper but i've also become attached and intimate with someone else.
* i feel so sincere whenever i tell you that i love you and yet cheat on you without any guilt all this time.
* i cheated, i have been unfaithful.
* you are my bestfriend and yet my actions are those of your worst enemy.
* i never intended to tell you of this affair until i was found out. this is not the kind of love that you truly deserve.
* maybe we're in the point of our lives when we can see if we're really right for each other. in the situation that i am in, with the things that i did, i can definitely say that i am not the right one for you.
* i already feel so guilty for taking you for granted. nararamdaman kong hindi na ako yung taong karapat-dapat para syo. you deserve better than this.
* i need this separation so that i can find myself.
* i hate to do this to you pero i'd hate myself much more if i won't be able to love you and give you everything 100% in the future.
* thank you so much for all the laughter, joy and love that we have shared throughout the past 4 years.
* do not think of this as a goodbye, i'll be here for you as always. think of it as a loving friendship on a different level.
* i wish you all of the happiness in this world and i hope that we could keep this very special friendship as we both grow older.
nytie! xoxo, chec",)